1 clio: Alone

Alone

Thursday, February 28, 2013



There was a moment on Tuesday night, as I looked out into the dark evening from an unfamiliar bus driving down familiar streets that I realised no one knew where I was. The friend I had just left could have speculated as to my whereabouts, be it waiting for the bus or somewhere along its route through town but she could not have known for sure. Neither could my boyfriend who was at work or my family who were —I suspect—at home. An overwhelming sense of freedom and independence washed over me as I came to this strange realisation. I smiled.

I have always wanted to be further, better, older, ahead of the game, and have written about it before. I have always craved the independence and nonchalance of doing my own thing. The frivolous fact that no one knew where I was made me a little bit excited…like I could go anywhere or do anything and no one would ever know. Truth be told I went home (to my brother’s, where I am house-sitting with Richard) and hung up the washing and watched TV and went to bed. Is that boring? Maybe. But it makes me feel like a real person. A person who cooks and cleans and looks after herself and is content with or without company.

At the moment I feel as if I am only pretending to be a real person. This make-believe life I am living is only a mere glimpse of things to come. Of course without bills or mortgages or taxes to pay this playing-house is more than a little bit rose-tinted. Yet still, I cannot let go of the romantic notion of creating a life as opposed to living in someone else’s. 




*double exposure of me by Richard.

4 comments:

  1. Picture and text goes beautifully with eachother here.

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    1. Thank you…I was pretty happy when I found the photograph to be honest! I had forgotten all about it. Ill probably hate the rest from the roll next week. There's some lovely ones.

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  2. I really like this post Clío. You’re so good at expressing yourself that I think I understand the exact feeling you had, and for the first time in my life I can relate to this kind of independence. What you said about being content with or without company really resonates with me, so eloquently put. The image is so fitting as well

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    Replies
    1. Thanks KB, you’re the best! Cannot wait to hear about your newfound independence when you get home!

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Thank you for your thoughts and kind words of encouragement.

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